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Hilarious account of first hand newly wed torture travel | How not to act on your honeymoon|Witty Vows
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How NOT to Act on Your Honeymoon – A Must SEE for Newly Weds!

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Going on your Honeymoon? Then please Stop everything you are doing and Read this article of everything you should NOT do on your way there!

Lets take a minute to step out of the Love Bubble and see how you look to everyone outside of it with this hilarious first person account of travelling with newly weds by Dubai-based columnist Bikram Vohra!  Fair warning though his hilariously honest story will make you cry with splits of laughter  😆

“FLYING HIGH WITH THE NEWLY WEDS

Airline passengers with little babies are nothing compared to newly-weds. I had them next to me and she is Spooned into him with no daylight between them. AND I get a Filthy look being the intruder! She is wearing those red and white bangles up to her elbows like a badge of honour and he is telling her that the plane flies because when the engines start the exhaust pushes the plane faster and faster and then like a pebble from a catapult it shoots upwards. Never heard such baloney in my life and she has that look of Liquid admiration & adoration;  like he had just discovered a Fourth Law for Newton and if the Wright brothers had heard this they would have given up flying and taken up paddle boating instead!”

Hilarious account of first hand newly wed torture travel | How not to act on your honeymoon|Witty Vows
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And Then There was More…

“As we take off she combs his hair with her henna designed fingers and he taps her on the nose as we ‘catapult’ into the sky.

The lunch cart comes along and they discuss the menu like this was a Global summit and he says, you choose and she says, ‘no,no, no’, you choose and he says, no whatever you want and she **giggles** like only newly weds can giggle and even the stewardess has got this ‘get on with it expression’ and finally they settle for a samosa and a carton of hot noodles.

When their meal arrives she feeds him and he feeds her in a culinary orgy of ecstasy and she then opens the pot of noodles and says, its hot and he rubs her fingers and does, foo foo.

Hilarious account of first hand newly wed torture travel | How not to act on your honeymoon|Witty Vows
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“And you want to tell him, man to man, foofoo as much as you want because a couple of years down the road foofoo will be phutt.

Then, as the Lord is my witness, he kisses her fingertips one by one and pulls out a noodle, blows on it and feeds it to her. In a return match she pull out the second noodle and after caressing it with her breath feeds him as I watch on in mute horror! 😲”

It Gets Better !?!

“Then they have a bet to see who will pull out the longest noodle. They think this is the best Game Ever, much ahead of candy crush and angry birds and for ten minutes they compete and the score is 9-6 in her favour and he’s looking at her like she has won the Gold Medal at the Olympics.

And I am thinking I have been married 37 years and if turned to my wife and said, let’s see who can pull out the longest spicey chicken flavoured noodle would it come off as a reflection of Grand Romance?

I think…NOT. I’d probably end up the stone in the Catapult.”

Hilarious account of first hand newly wed torture travel | How not to act on your honeymoon|Witty Vows
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Yep! That is how you look to people outside the Love Bubble! So Show Love to both your New Spouse and Your Travel Companions  😛

xx


Special Thanks to the author

Mr. Bikram Vohra

He has been editor of Gulf News, Khaleej Times, Bahrain Tribune, Emirates Evening Post and helped in setting up Gulf Today and Now the Famous Survivor of the Flight from Hell  😆


P.s. Before Leaving for your Love Holiday, You might want to read How to Pack for Your Honeymoon.

Also Check out our Super Cute Pre- Curated Pinterest Board for Honeymooners!


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